Ancient Ramblings of a Young Man: April 2009

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

As i sit outside....

I hear many things! not really, its the country side! i hear the birds sing and a gentle breeze and just now my txt msg tone!!!!  As i relish these few moments i have at home, i like to thank God for the wonderful family he has provided me with.  Many of my friends don't have the stable background i have.  I commend them for the strength that they have to keep battling along! 

And so it was Easter time! and Easter used to be my time of the year to get closer to God with Easter Camp! Now it is my time to clock up O2 hours and family time! I often wonder where i went wrong in terms of my life, or if indeed i did go wrong, maybe it was just my time to move on! i've been a drifter now and again.  I will always look back fondly at my times at Easter camp, from the first moments i realised God was real, the first time i realised my brother was a real human being and the times when i got to be the youth club leader and the sitting up to four or five some nights keeping watch on the rowdy boys dorms! Fun times!!!!

I have to say honestly, the past years that i haven't been at camp, i haven't really missed it at all! But this year was different, i actually did miss being there! But it was good to pray for the guys at camp! even though half the youth probably wouldn't know who i was!  It fills me with great joy that there are still young people wanting to learn more about God and to be challenged! It fills me with joy that the same youth club leaders that were there in my time as a youth, still have that same burning passion today as they did 6-7 years ago!

Enough about camp!

I have to say it has been a special week for myself as i was able to catch up with a very good friend of mine over Easter, someone who i have always loved deeply and someone i will always think highly of! we share a similar story in terms of where our faith has gone over the past three years! to look at us both now you'd probably laugh if we told you we were christians! i think if you both asked us, we'd give you a pretty straight up answer, we love jesus, we muck up, we're human.  My friend and I, we laughed and we shared this week! Our hopes and aspirations, our faults and our flaws, we have a friendship that will last the times! Who do i thank this friendship for? My Lord Jesus Christ, who had instilled a vision in some persons minds to use the Ulster Hall in Belfast as a place for young Christians to come and meet God once a month! Yes Mannafest! God does look after his sheep! My friend has been there for me and im sure she would say the same about me!  

On a side note: All day every day i hear of what a christian should be, christian guys should be this this and this, im sorry to disappoint you all but im not this this and this.  I am Niall Kissick, sinner condemned and unclean, but by gosh i am forgiven! I find rest and comfort in the shelter of Jesus, and no matter how i struggle, how i run, the fathers arms are always open!

Thats enough for today!

Saturday, 4 April 2009

A lot has happened in the past week

Well! it is now april! month four of the year 09 has begun and am i any happier? The answer....a little!  I still know not what i want to be, nor do i have a plan to rectify this situation! I am living for today and today only! I cannot embrace what happens today if i run around with my arms stretched out for tomorrow! 

I said above that i am happier! Yes, i am.  I take joy in my friends joy and seeing them happy makes me happy.  I have had several good conversations with people this week and although situations may not be how i want them to be, i rejoice in the fact that the other parties are happy! It is my hope and prayer that things turn out well for those aforementioned (aforementioned, thats a big word, i like it) parties.

I heard before that all good things come to those who wait...i guess i just have to keep waiting... and to just be this "amazing" guy that people label me with, i don't feel amazing, nor do i ever think i will.  I've always camped in the nice guys get nothing campsite, and i often wonder whats the point in being nice and kind and thoughtful and all of the other eligible bachelor traits that i have spent years honing if it gets you nothing in the end?

Truth is, i'll never understand! It's in God's time and not Niall's time!