Froehliche Weihnachten

....As they say in Deutschland!

So i thought seeing as i haven't blogged in awhile that i would just sum up 2009 early as i am running low on inspiration for blogs these days!

So let me recap!

January i went to Rome, it was great to finally get a holiday. January wasn't a particularly great time of year for me and it was a welcome distraction! Plenty of good food, some good banter with Paul Maybing and Neiller and plenty of Peroni and Pizza!!!

I very much doubt i am going to go month by month because my memory is pretty crap!

After easter i decided i would visit my old church again at Craigmore, i don't really know why i took the urge to go but i went, and it was a little odd. Here i am now in December though and i am back at church, back playing in the band and back serving in the Youth Club, God really does look after His prodigals, at this point i would like to highlight "the crew" as they have called themselves! Thank You for the love and support you guys have given me since i have been back, you will never know how much it means to me!

May/June brought the end of an era to a close as i said my goodbyes to the big smoke and moved back home! The end of the centre, the end of seeing my two best friends every morning for coolios frys and clements coffee and scones! (I'm sure it will do wonders for my wasteline). Nick and Neiller thank you for making this year a good one and an easy one for me to get through! Although the Triple N is dispanded we still manage to meet now and again for Steak Stella and Sinema.

26th June 2009 What were you doing when Michael Jackson died??? I can say i was having a laugh being invited to Helen's BBQ just so that i would do the BBQing! I jest, having a laugh with a few of my nearest and dearest playing Rapidough!!! CINDERALLA!!!!!

In June i also moved O2 stores, my pastures anew were Portadown. What can i say about Portadown? Well, i can say the people i worked there with are absolute legends, i mean guys, it was just meant to be one! As of November i have been shipped off to O2 Lisburn which is very handy and good for the back pocket, especially now that the Sky man is a coming to give me Sky Sports!! Yes no longer shall i have to miss a single over in test cricket, no longer will i miss my beloved Tottenham on the TV!!!

In the summer i managed to make it to Summer Madness again, to co-lead the activities team with my friend Lynne, needless to say Lynne did most of the work!!! But it was good to make new friends on the team and to see friends of old!!!

Neiller and i took a road trip to Dublin/Wicklow for a H-themed party, i blatantly copied Neiller's idea and dressed in school uniform and pretended i was of course from High School Musical, my original idea was to go as Baywatch 2009 The Hoff, but i didnt like the idea of wandering around in red speedos all day long!!! I think i mentioned the story of Gol in an earlier post and the friendship that i have from that night! Wadey Wade Wade!!!!!

Nick and I hit Dublin to see U2, what a gig and what a night afterwards! Thanks to Chris for driving us down and the fun we had in McDonalds and the cheeky bint of a hotel receptionist! Whatever the heck her name was!!!

2009 has had a lot of laughs and a lot of lows but i have had such a good year! I got to go stay in Glasgow for 5 days with my friend Rachael, visit my wee brother, eat a heck of a lot of good food and got subjected to the x factor :(

God has been good to me this year and has been good to my friends too! Prayers have been answered and that is awesome!!!!

December has been mental! Working like crazy, everybody seems to want Samsung Tocco Lites, or Samsung Genios!!! Crazy! How could i not forget the first Saw movie night! gutted to miss part 2 but will be caught up for part 3!!!!

I think i will end this post with some of my must haves of 2009.

Album of the year: Spring Tides by Jeniferever

An easy pick, its been a constant since i picked it up in April this year, the band probably wouldn't be everyones cup of tea, but their blend of keys, strings and melodys chill to bone at times and always leave me satisfied, if you ever get the chance turn all the lights out and listen to Ox-Eye with headphones in, i guarantee you won't be disappointed.

Song of the year: How to Save a Life by The Fray

A hard one this was and it was a tough choice, i got to see The Fray live in the Ulster Hall in Belfast and at one point i actually got to do a little bit of worshiping when they sung 40 by U2 for those of you out their wise enough 40 is basically Psalm 40. Why how to save a life? well its the first secular song i learnt on the guitar and i would now say i can play it pretty well!!!!

Signing of the Season: Niko Kranjcar

What can i say, young Niko has been a revelation since joining the club and little Luka Modric will find it tough ousting him from the Tottenham team.

Film of the year: Star Trek

Not more to say than OH MY WORD, what a magnificent piece of cinema, a film that appealed to the trekkies and to the non trekkies, Zachary Quinto was well cast as Spock and it had the right mix of cheese for me to be ok with it!!! It was a hard choice with films like Avatar and District 9 also blowing my mind this year

Frivolous Purchase of the Year : Samsung 32" TV

This was a tight one, with such frivolous purchases as a Sony PS3, iPhone, Sky all coming close in a tight race. But my TV kicks ass, and Star Trek looks awesome on it, as does Battlestar Galactica!!!

Website of the year: http://aiizstore.com

nuff said, cheap kick ass football shirts

And i cant think of much more else! I hope you have enjoyed my years review and i hope you have an awesome 2010!!!!

Ciao

Octobers Musings...

So last week was interesting, but i survived!

Where does the time go! It's now October and i wonder when life's accelerator button eases off. 3 years ago i'd just started off life in 'The Centre' and now i'm sitting at home waiting to go to work! With no degree! And in this exact moment i want to have a rant about freedom of expression but no doubt that will come back to bite me in the ass so i won't.

On a lighter note! I'm moving on with my life! What's done is done! Doors open and close all the time. I'm walking through a new one today. In light of all thats been said and done you took your normal path, i am not surprised by your actions. Nor do i wish to play these games with you anymore. It is done. You have my friendship you can take it or leave it.

Yes, lighter note and (edited)rant over.

Steaks and Zombieland is a great combination!!! It is a film that i would highly recommend! Full of comedy throughout! And i always recommend Steak! Tuesday night is Steak Night and Springsteens by the by!!! Nothing like a little advertisement now and again!!!!

So yes, currently iPhoneless which is not great! But it does mean that i am a little bit less connected to the world which i'm sure is a good thing! But using this piece of crap Samsung, i am realising that, yes i am a techno snob! Technology is great! And alphanumeric keypads are not great! I want to be able to check the latest SciFi news and i want to know the news without having to pay for a newspaper now that i dont get The Times for 25p, oh how i miss thee Queens Student Union!!! And i even want to check the cinema times of 500 days of summer in the hope that some female will go with me!!!

Anyways! I need to go make lunch and all that jazz!

Here's to (censored) creative freedom!

100!!!!

100 FLIPPIN KIDS!!!!!

We had 100 kids @ Youth Club last night! Flippin brilliant!!!

God is good!

I think i'll go make a sandwich

Birthdays....

Good day folks! In the words of Bilbo Baggins

"Today is my 111th Birthday"

Well actually today is my 23rd birthday! For those of you who read and have read The Lord of The Rings Trilogy you will be aware that Bilbo and Frodo were born on the 22nd September!!!

Firstly i am thankful to God Almighty for each and everyone of you, whether i know you well or not so, Thank You.....[insert name]. For everyone who has ever come across me, i hope that you can say it's been a positive experience, for that is how i have tried to set out my stall, not to judge, not to hate, not to be a bad person to anyone, i know that i am only human and that indeed i may have failed in some of those respects for that i apologise to you.

Secondly thank you to all of you who have passed on birthday wishes it was surprising to get so many! I was quite shocked, thank you all, very kind of you.

So i'm now 23 and what have i learnt in the past year of my life??? Well, now, in the past year i have loved and lost. Jay, i thank you for every minute we had with each other from the bottom of my heart with deepest sincerity. I am glad that we are still able to talk.

What else have i learnt, i learnt how to play the acoustic guitar! Here is a picture of my baby. I've almost learnt to drive! I've learnt how to cope with being a failure at university and i hope in the next year to pass my two exams and get some sort of degree!!!! I am learning each day to be ok with the fact that my future isn't in my hands, its in God's hands.

I learnt the story of Gol and made a friend that night :)

I have had many a memory from this past year and i love the fact that i made some close new friends in the past year and got reacquainted with old ones. For Vic and Mairead and Erin and Asha a toast to the past year and to many more!!!!

On a more silly note! I gots a new TV its big and its beautiful! For my birthday my friends all chipped in and got me the complete Battlestar Galactica on Bluray! I am very thankful and will enjoy immensely!!!

I wish i had some wise words to finish with but i don't!

Thanks guys for a great birthday! Thank you everyone who has been in my life in my 23 years of living!

Thank you Jesus. Amen

i think i should of....

....consumed a little less red bull in the past 36 hours!!!!

but its got me a thinking!!! and we all know what happens when i start a thinking!!!!

Whilst i try and recover myself from being a caffeine addict i shall attempt to put down some meaningful words down.

I have been greatly encouraged recently, i put this down to being back at the church i call home, i put it down to anonymous prayers that have been prayed for me, i put it down to Jesus just wanting to do business with me again, i put this down to being back in contact with those that gave me such encouragement before even though they are not necessarily aware of the encouragement they give!!!

Firstly i have a verse

Give your worries to the Lord

and he will take care of you

He will not permit the godly

to slip and fall

This verse can be found in the book of Psalms, Psalm 55 v 22 to be exact.

I often claim this verse as my own, it was the first time that i think i ever heard God speak to me directly. I was a young boy probably about 15 and it must of been very early in my walk with Jesus after moving on from the child like faith. I was down and in need of encouragement so i picked up my bible and was like "Lord, show me something" i did the whole close my eyes, open random page and point trick, and my finger landed beside this verse. The verse i have quoted above is not how i found it having grown up and used different bibles since then, but the last part of the verse as i remember it from my youth bible is "He will never let good people down"

He will never let good people down

I am not known for my worrying, outwardly anyway, many of you will know that i am as laid back as they come. But, (and i know this is bad grammar by starting with but), i do have many worries, like for instance, right now im worried about my future, i like most men my age, want to get married and be an awesome dad and have a semi decent car!!! And me being me, i am really good at not taking my own advice...

...All through my life i have passed this verse on to people and told people not worry and to give it to God, but i rarely take my own advice! I'm too happy to dispense it! My mother talks a lot of sense and although i must drive her up the bend with my blasé lifestyle, i do heed her words and i thank her for them. I ought not to worry about the car, the wife and the family. I'm trying to live in the here and now...

...One of my favourite Rob Bell NOOMA DVDs is Number 17 in the series, it's called Today. So often my thoughts wander to the past and how things were and to the future and how things are going to be!! Whilst i would say i am now more comfortable with the things in my past, the ghosts in the closet are all but exorcised...i was though, in despair over the past...over things said...not said...things i'd done...things that had been done to me. I learnt to deal with it, God broke me and he dealt with me...

Rob puts it quite well

"There's a certain kind of despair that sets in

when we believe things were better back then.

When we're stuck back there.

When we're not fully present.

When we're still holding on to how things were,

our arms aren't free to embrace today"

Our arms aren't free to embrace today

And so i am trying to embrace each day...and i finish with a verse from James

You don't even know what tomorrow will bring-what your life will be

James 4:14

Goodnight and God Bless

And thus i sit pondering...

...yes, pondering! it's what i do quite frequently!

It is a beautiful sunny monday afternoon and i'm having quite the lazy day! After not sleeping over all the weekend due to birthday roadtrip banter in Avoca, Co. Wicklow i decided to lie in until about half two! Yes, shameful i know! But much needed sleep!

As we speak, i mean write, the cookies i made are coming along nicely! A nice treat for ma e padre coming home from work i think! But then again, i can't remember if they like peanut butter cookies so i could end up eating the whole bunch!

I am aware that i said pondering! So what am i pondering as i stare out the window and listen to some of the music that i have listed on the RHS thats Right Hand Side of my blog! Jenniferever have a new album out! it's much worth a listen to. I think i just want to say firstly how good it feels to be loved, not just by God, but by family. I count it such a blessing! I have an aunt who never stops looking out for me and praying for me ever since i was a wee un, and here i am at nearly 23 and she's still praying for me! I just want to thank her. Her constant words of encouragement keep me going.

Never underestimate the power of prayer...I strongly urge that. I know that do not pray not nearly as much as i should, but i am thankful to those that have kept praying for me. There are times when i compare myself the prodigal son, and i think there is a little bit of prodigal son in all of us. But here i am, i'm nearly back where i want to be! *Cookies are done*

Right! i think thats me for today! i'm off to cut the grass and decide on a new iPhone ringtone!!! I'm bored of Bonkers!!!

I'm feeling in the mood to share some thoughts....

.... and so i give to you an excerpt of a talk i did once. yes by gosh gee whizzz! Niall actually was allowed to give some sort of address!!!! It's not too long but i think i touched on some good points which i didnt mind reading again! its good to keep them fresh!!!

Christianity is about relationship and not about religion. Religion has one basic characteristic, its followers are trying to reach, find and please God through their own efforts. Religion reaches up toward God. Christianity is different, it is God reaching down to man. Would it be right of me to say that Christianity claims that men haven’t found God but that He has found us. For some of you this may seem like a hard concept to grasp, some of us may prefer religious effort and to deal with God on our own terms, it puts us in the driving seat, and it makes us feel good being “religious”.

I don’t believe that Christianity is religious striving. To be a Christian is to respond to what God has done for you. God sent his only son to die upon a cross so that you may live and have eternal life in Him. Christianity is not a religious treadmill its a relationship with your creator. Psalm 139 is good passage to read, to justify how much God loves us, and why it is more about a relationship we should be striving for and not religion. We can get caught up in religifying Christianity by putting it into form, legalism, rules, systems and party lines. We substitute works for faith and trust, and the laws take precedence over grace. Instead of responding to God’s love we reach out for it on our own terms and neatly keep God at arms length.

However our God is not a god that stays at arms length. When he enters our life he demands all of your life. Can we forget about the religious game of church that we can play so well on a Sunday. God wants all of you, he wants your heart, your soul and your body. Just as you have your relationships with your friends and family, God wants to know and share in every little thing about you.

Romans is a book about Christianity and how it is far more than religion. Think of Paul’s early life, he was Jew, and a rabbi, he knew the law inside out yet he did not experience the peace and grace that comes with knowing the living God until he met him on the dusty road to Damascus.

A Christian is not someone who simply follows Christ’s great teachings. A Christian is one who is one with Christ in a personal relationship. That’s why Paul says in Romans 6:6, “Our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.”

Choice is always a part of life. And with every choice you make, you’re actually turning toward sin or toward Christ. There is no middle ground. You do not remain the same. You’re always changing.

And guess what — you become like the one you obey. If you serve sin, it means frustration, disillusionment, a kind of cynical hardening toward the gospel. But if you serve Christ, He molds your life. The one to whom you offer yourself will take you and be your master, and you will be his slave. And you become like the one to whom you belong!

And so we choose one of two masters. We serve God or sin. Some think that while they may “sin a little,” they’re still master of a particular habit or practice. It doesn’t work out that way. You don’t master a sin; it masters you. You belong to the power you choose to obey. You accept Christ by faith; but unless your faith in Him is constant and real, sin will still rule your life.

We can develop this relationship with Christ by being in the company of those who are like minded. As we spend more time with friends who believe as we do, then parts of their character rub off on you and vice versa. This also works with your relationship with Christ, the more time you spend with him, the more insights into his character you get and the more it rubs off on you. It is my belief that our ultimate call is to be like Jesus, we are not called to sit on our backsides and say yeh I believe in Jesus. If we are to be true Christians we must be like Christ, and therefore we must immerse ourselves in the good news, the gospels of Jesus Christ. God will mould us into vessels for his spirit and his spirit will flow out of you and into those around you. I personally struggle with reading my bible every day and I set a small challenge to each of you!

Get a friend, if you share a room use your roomie and sit down for 10mins a day and read the gospels of matthew mark luke and john together. That is my challenge, read the word and feed your spiritual body. The gospels will teach you how to be like Christ.

....so i figured

....its been awhile since my last post!

Why is that?

I don't really know! Life has been interesting of late!

Summer has gone by really quickly as usual! Summer Madness was great! I've been transferred to O2 Portadown, and life there, is well challenging to say the least. I got a final written warning for doing my job. I went to see U2 at Croke Park with my bestest friend NQ. A lifetime ambition of mine was fulfilled! Only 4 more to go!!! I briefly tried dating again only to not much avail! Still i learnt alot and had alot of fun getting to know someone again!!! So thank you RN.

I am starting to get back into the swing of going to Craigmore again. For those of you who don't know who/what/where Craigmore is i suggest you read some of my previous posts.

It amazes me how after being away for so long, i can almost seamlessly fit back in! It's an absolute testimony to God's church acting like it should, like a family. I have missed soo many good friends there, it is good to be in fellowship with them again.

And yes, i forgot to mention! I of all people failed final year at uni! I am that guy!!!! But not all hope is lost! I will be retaking my exams next year, so i may just yet get a biochemistry degree and still not use it!!!!

If anyone has any insider knowledge on what i should do with my life please comment below!!!

I'm done rambling! Hopefully get a more meaningful post up soon!!

I just want to say!

I think God is brilliant, i actually do.  No matter how far i ran, no matter how much i drank, no matter how much i mucked up, He never gave up on me.  I am a living testament to the fact that Jesus does not give up on his children.

Not everything is sorted, i have started going back to church back at home, it's a start and it's good to be back and it's nice that people say hello, it's just like i've never been away really.  There are still issues to sort out, but all in good time.

I am over the hurt that was done to me.  I have my closure. I have sorted things out with my heart and my head.  She is happy, and i am happy.  On with what God has in store for me.  Exciting times lie ahead.  I still know that i am an idiot, and that im not very good at things, and i know im probably still a mess, but im Jesus' mess.

I love my life and who i am and the friends i have.

i am a shamelessly ridiculous flirt

i am getting better at the acoustic every day

i am learning that God can meet me anywhere, even at The Fray

right now i've learnt that M&S strawberry milk does in fact contain cows milk! (who would have thought???)

Love Came Down is a fantastic worship song.

I am Niall Kissick and I am BACK

As i sit outside....

I hear many things! not really, its the country side! i hear the birds sing and a gentle breeze and just now my txt msg tone!!!!  As i relish these few moments i have at home, i like to thank God for the wonderful family he has provided me with.  Many of my friends don't have the stable background i have.  I commend them for the strength that they have to keep battling along! 

And so it was Easter time! and Easter used to be my time of the year to get closer to God with Easter Camp! Now it is my time to clock up O2 hours and family time! I often wonder where i went wrong in terms of my life, or if indeed i did go wrong, maybe it was just my time to move on! i've been a drifter now and again.  I will always look back fondly at my times at Easter camp, from the first moments i realised God was real, the first time i realised my brother was a real human being and the times when i got to be the youth club leader and the sitting up to four or five some nights keeping watch on the rowdy boys dorms! Fun times!!!!

I have to say honestly, the past years that i haven't been at camp, i haven't really missed it at all! But this year was different, i actually did miss being there! But it was good to pray for the guys at camp! even though half the youth probably wouldn't know who i was!  It fills me with great joy that there are still young people wanting to learn more about God and to be challenged! It fills me with joy that the same youth club leaders that were there in my time as a youth, still have that same burning passion today as they did 6-7 years ago!

Enough about camp!

I have to say it has been a special week for myself as i was able to catch up with a very good friend of mine over Easter, someone who i have always loved deeply and someone i will always think highly of! we share a similar story in terms of where our faith has gone over the past three years! to look at us both now you'd probably laugh if we told you we were christians! i think if you both asked us, we'd give you a pretty straight up answer, we love jesus, we muck up, we're human.  My friend and I, we laughed and we shared this week! Our hopes and aspirations, our faults and our flaws, we have a friendship that will last the times! Who do i thank this friendship for? My Lord Jesus Christ, who had instilled a vision in some persons minds to use the Ulster Hall in Belfast as a place for young Christians to come and meet God once a month! Yes Mannafest! God does look after his sheep! My friend has been there for me and im sure she would say the same about me!  

On a side note: All day every day i hear of what a christian should be, christian guys should be this this and this, im sorry to disappoint you all but im not this this and this.  I am Niall Kissick, sinner condemned and unclean, but by gosh i am forgiven! I find rest and comfort in the shelter of Jesus, and no matter how i struggle, how i run, the fathers arms are always open!

Thats enough for today!

A lot has happened in the past week

Well! it is now april! month four of the year 09 has begun and am i any happier? The answer....a little!  I still know not what i want to be, nor do i have a plan to rectify this situation! I am living for today and today only! I cannot embrace what happens today if i run around with my arms stretched out for tomorrow! 

I said above that i am happier! Yes, i am.  I take joy in my friends joy and seeing them happy makes me happy.  I have had several good conversations with people this week and although situations may not be how i want them to be, i rejoice in the fact that the other parties are happy! It is my hope and prayer that things turn out well for those aforementioned (aforementioned, thats a big word, i like it) parties.

I heard before that all good things come to those who wait...i guess i just have to keep waiting... and to just be this "amazing" guy that people label me with, i don't feel amazing, nor do i ever think i will.  I've always camped in the nice guys get nothing campsite, and i often wonder whats the point in being nice and kind and thoughtful and all of the other eligible bachelor traits that i have spent years honing if it gets you nothing in the end?

Truth is, i'll never understand! It's in God's time and not Niall's time!

Honesty

I have entitled todays blog honesty, i feel like being honest today.  This is long, so stay the course

For 22 and 1/2 years i have mostly walked and for probably a year or so crawled on God's green earth!  I have experienced many things in life, joy and pain, pleasure and sadness.  I have loved and i have lost and i have grieved and given thanks.  I have drank too much, i have sworn too much.

I had a brilliant relationship with a girl i was very much in love with and i mucked it up.  Now where i used to go out and spend time with her on a saturday i find myself clocking up major xbox live hours, the odd bottle of wine and plenty of Sci-Fi.

I don't seem like the model person do i? But i'm just being honest.

I have always professed to be a follower of Jesus Christ, i don't claim to know all the answers, or preach that you will go to hell if you don't turn from your heathenistic ways.  I have drifted and come close and drifted again.  I may not be a model christian in the sense that the world thinks a model christian should be.

Simply put i believe in unconditional love.  For it is the love that Jesus gave to us all.  I have always tried to live a life of love.  I may love too much and it may cause me to get hurt more often than i'd like but it's the sacrifice i make.  

I have never cared for myself, for many years as a youth i used to self harm, more recently this self harm has probably come from overthinking the way things used to be, hanging on to the past, whisky, poisoning my mind with things of the earth, i waste my money on coffee and coca cola, and xbox and dvds.  

I am drifter with nowhere to call home. I don't go to church, i left my church back home when i was going through a very bad patch in my life, deep down im still bitter that some of them still haven't called to see if im alright, but again im just being honest, i know they have busy lives and families and jobs and problems that are way more important than mine.  But then isn't church meant to be one big family, when i hurt they hurt?  I miss my church back home and i remember them often, i had very many precious times there and i am thankful for those who have helped me since the age of 14/15 discover who i am and for the chance to develop my gifts.

As i shared last week about the friend who left me the egg and note, i have the privilege of having some amazing people in my life.  I am thankful for the times that i have been able to be there for my friends, to share their burdens, to offer my advice, to sit in silence with them and to pray for them.

I know that i may never be happy with myself, the devil knows exactly how to bring me down.  He tells me i'll never get married and that i'll be alone for the rest of my life, and that i'll be stuck in a desk job wasting away and getting gray hairs.  I have recently finished reading Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis, quite a good read, but really it was the last section in the book that hit me on the head.  Difficulty, Suffering and Hope

to be this kind of person - the kind who selflessly serves - takes everything a person has.  It is difficult.  It is demanding...  Which is why we are reclaiming the simple fact that Jesus said the way is narrow...Most of the messages we receive are about making life easier.  The call of Jesus goes the other direction: it's about making our lives more difficult.  It's going out of our way to be more generous,disciplined and loving and free.  It's refusing to escape and be numb and to check out of this broken, fractured world....not only is the way narrow but it involves suffering.  to truly engage with how the world is our hearts are going to be broken again and again...

Whilst i don't profess to be exactly like this, i do believe in his words.  I understand that i need to suffer if i am ever going to be effective in this world.  I wonder what kind of person other people think i am.  I think i have rambled enough for today! but do read and challenge me if i've said anything wrong.  But i will leave you with a challenge.

Be real, be honest.  The other day a close friend was open and honest with me and we prayed through somethings, this person now has a little more clarity on the situation.  Prayer does work, and being honest helps, No cover-ups, no masks, just plain open honesty

Geeeeeeeeezzzzzzzz

Why oh why have i not posted in so long!

I went to Rome and it was awesome! A really beautiful city and a fantastic culture, i could see myself retiring there.  The food was awesome! Pizza, Pasta, Beer.  The Stadio Olimpico was intense! Italians are crazy passionate about their football! Thank goodness Roma won that night!  Neiller and Paul were awesome travel buddies and much banter was had and stories shared in the Yellow bar opposite Hostel Positano!

Italian women, yes yes! no more needs to be said.

I would recommend anyone goes to Rome at some stage in their life! The only thing i can think of that would of made my holiday better would have if i was their with a girlfriend, but oh well! 

February was a relatively interesting month.  God really tested me, life really tested me and i am still being tested.  Relationships are very very complicated things and there are friends that i have who have come out of them due to various reasons.  

There is much i want to say, but much i cant.

I am tired, and i am upset with how things turn out sometimes.

I am a firm believer in the nice guys get nothing camp, but i'm learning to deal with it.

I still have no clue as to what i want to do in life, but its ok, living for each day is much better than living for the future! but some future planning wouldn't go a miss!

Today was a good day though! I came back to my room today after dinner to find a note and easter egg the note said that i had managed to save a friend from a dark path.  I thank God for this day.

I cooked today too! from scratch honey chili chicken! i was quite chuffed! 

anyways! thats enough from me!

The end is in sight

Yes, indeed! The dreaded exams are nearly over for another couple of months.  Biomolecular Structure is all i have between me and Italy's fair capital.  Though as usual with me i cannot seem to get motivated to do anything.  After previous posts you know that i am not Biochemistry's biggest fan.  

I just thought i would post a short update as i haven't posted in awhile! I also thought i would notify you guys that i am infact a genius in the kitchen.  With an empty cupboard i rummaged through the various dreggs of the commie cupboard and whatever i could find in the fridge and managed to rustle up a rather nice chicken curry and chips.  I'm telling you ladies would be lucky to have me! Haha!

I am infact sick of pasta though after eating nothing but pasta for a month now! So i will be enforcing a NO PASTA law in House 16 for the first month of us being back!

As i cant seem to sleep or study!!!

I have decided to update!  currently waiting for a come and fetch me from the library text from a housemate! so hopefully they don't decide to study all night! 

anyways! since last post i updated you on my aims for the year and my plans for the end of the month!  Rome, this time two weeks if i can find a suitable internet connection i will update on what the first day involved!

studying for a degree that you really do not want is one of the hardest things one can come across in life, since about a year and a half into my degree, around about when my grandad passed away i realised that i really didnt want to do biochemistry.  Biochemistry itself is a very interesting field of science to be in and maybe if i was at a different University where the teaching staff cared and the course was actually Biochemistry then i'd like it a little more! but that is a rant for another day!

i have found it extremely hard motivating myself to study things such as microbial metabolism, genetic manipulation to name but a few.  the truth is currently i care more in life about many other things than my university degree, which is disturbing to me as a long time ago my mother made a promise to me that if i got to Uni and passed she would take me to New York, so currently there is alot on the table!

New York or no New York! i am well aware that currently i am rambling and not making much sense! this is what the pointless revision of how much the biodiesel industry is currently worth! 

i have alot on my mind currently and not a lot of it is biochem related! i have friends who i'm not sure how to reach out to and the usual third year feeling of oh my gosh what am i going to do in four months time!!!!

it is too late to apply for a PGCE so i guess my option is to work for the year! but that would mean probably working in O2 full time, and this would not be beneficial to my lifespan, or waist span!!!!  i have toyed with the idea of getting a 6month/1year visa to go and live/work/travel around New Zealand.  

there are many options for this 22 year old boy who doesn't to grow up to choose! when all he really wants to do is, be there for his friends and family!

i started doing quiet times again the past few days, God still blows my mind, how he can love a sinner like me and still find a use for me.  i praise him for the friends he has sent to watch over me in these tough times, you guys know who you are if you are reading.  i miss my friends from church back home, i wonder if they read this, Craigmore is still very much in my thoughts and prayers.

Ive rambled enough! back to biofuels!!!

So this is the New Year......

.....and i dont feel any different

or so sing Death Cab For Cutie (a must listen to band in my opinion)  and so the time comes for my first post of this new year, 2009! So what can we expect from me in 2009! well! Much worrying about the fact that i will be 23 this year! 20 flipping 3!

I do not know if i want to do biochemistry for the rest of my life! i graduate (fingers crossed in July) and i shall be released in the big bad world! or shall i? 

I am determined to make the most of 2009! Jermaine Defoe is back at Tottenham! 

At the end of January i will be heading with a few amigos to Italy's fair capital, yes thats Rome, Me, Niall Kissick, going on a holiday, could it be possible? Oh yes i tell you! 

I am very very excited about this prospect and no-one shall take it away from me!!!!  

On with 2009 then!

I aim to be an even better person than i was in 2008!

I will attempt to lose weight

I will give my upmost in my degree in order to get to NYC

I will sell sell sell in order to earn earn earn

and i will work work work in order to go to New Zealand for a couple of months!

Anyway, this is the Captain signing off for today!

God Bless