Trials and Tribulations

And so i write again! 

i have found that as a 22 year old life has thrown many things in my way.  A year ago on boxing day i lost the only elderly relative that i had.  My fathers father, my grand dad.  i was never really close to my grandad, which is strange as i miss him so much these days.  it wasn't until his funeral, a year ago, words that my father spoke about him.  i found out that i was so much like my grand father, my love for all things Sci-Fi, the passion to one day teach, the quiet man inside me, all stemmed from my grandad.

2008 has been the toughest year of my life to date.  God, has been really testing me, and i have found little comfort in this testing.  I find myself yelling at God why oh why? why test the little 22 year old boy, who all he wants to do in life is to live and be the best person he can be?.  I have had friends attempt suicide, i have lost loved ones and i have lost my way more than once this year.  

My faith has been stretched, pushed, pulled, punched, bashed, beaten and torn from it's very core in my heart.  I wonder, doe's God actually give two jacks about Niall Kissick.  I know this all sounds like a cry for attention, but for those of you who know me, you know i do not need attention.

I find myself wondering now, what my purpose in life is? I know most 3rd year university students feel like this! But i really really, don't have a clue about what i'm going to do in June?????? I don't have the money to travel, I don't want to work 9-5 just yet and then there is the ancient prophesy once told that i was going to become a pastor????  Can you imagine? Me a pastor?  I'll keep you updated on that one! 

I've been lied to, I've been used, I've hurt and been hurt.  But does any of this actually matter in the long run? I see it as life experience, and this life experience i will try to pass on to educate others and not go wrong where i have.

I had potential to be great, maybe i can still realise my potential its in God's hands, and its in God's hands where i'll place 2009

I'm not expecting many people to read this, but then that is my negative view of life creeping through, i like to ramble and get my feelings down on some sort of paper, be it computer generated paper.